yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
