atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
