we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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