I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
