Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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