I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
