lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
