this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
