the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
