playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
