Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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