i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
