I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
