Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize