I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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