i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize