we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
