WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
