I puked a lego.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
