You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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