I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
