Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found the puke drawer
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
