New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
