your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think people are normalizing furries
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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