Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
