my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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