I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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