i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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