Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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