The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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