Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
