so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
