at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
