people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
