I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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