You made me cry and you don't even care
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
