How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
FUCK WHALES
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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