I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
