I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
