Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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