called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
