I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
