the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
These tits shall not be calmed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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