i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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