burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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