I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
