Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
