i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
