I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize