HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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