u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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