You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize