so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
