my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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