Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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