Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
