Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
