i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Even the bartender felt bad for me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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