the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
