lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
