oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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