good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
