I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
