How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
