The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
