Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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