in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
