This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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