i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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