yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
